Supersized Last Supper

Historians studying the depictions of ‘The Last Supper’ from DaVinci’s famous painting through the last century found that artists through the years steadily increased the size of the food on the plates. In other news, Judas has signed up for the new season of ‘The Biggest Loser’.

Shorter Days

Scientists believe that recent earthquakes have altered the earth’s axis, actually shortening the length of the day by 1.26 microseconds. I now have a new excuse for when I’m late to work.

Darkness and Dishonesty

A new study by scientists found that darkness encourages dishonesty. Participants were more likely to cheat on a test or lie when in a dimly lit room. The study also found that those who wore sunglasses frequently, were even more susceptible to lying. In other news, Tiger Woods just signed an endorsement contract with Oakley.

Obama’s Physical

The results of President Obama’s physical found that his doctors recommended that he stop smoking and start having moderation in his drinking. The doctors were later forced to apologize to the President after finding they mistakenly mixed up his results with David Hasselhoff.

Blondes Are ‘Warlike’

A new study by the University of California showed that Blonde women exhibited much more aggressive personality traits than brunettes, going so far to call it “warlike”. After an attempt to be reached for comment, Madonna’s publicist said the singer was not available….because she was currently off eating her mate.

Big Butts Healthy?

Oxford University recently found that having a larger butt may actually be healthy. The study found that fat in the hip and thigh areas actually reduces the risk of diabetes and heart disease. I have one question: How did Sir-Mix-A-Lot get into Oxford?

Half-Plant, Half Animal?

Scientists have discovered a sea slug off the coast of New England which is both part animal AND plant. They claim the freakish hybrid creature can carry  out photosynthesis — the process plants use to convert sunlight into energy. Their groundbreaking discovery was later debunked though after it was found that 30 years ago, Jacque Cousteau dropped a Caesar Salad with anchovies there.

Neanderthals Wore Jewelry

An archeological study in Spain revealed that Neanderthals — precursors to early humans — actually wore jewelry, make-up and even glitter. These Neanderthals kept up these practices after migrating nearly 40,000 years ago… to the Jersey Shore.

Hiccups For 2 Years

A 26-year-old British man was finally cured of what became an almost fatal case of the hiccups after 2 long years of suffering. It seems that all he needed was a good scare, as the man was completely cured after the Make-A-Wish foundation arranged for a visit from Susan Boyle.

Christ’s House?

Just days before Christmas, archeologists have found a house near Nazareth that could conceivably have been the dwelling of Jesus Christ. Among the findings in the bedroom are a chalice, a rudimentary beard trimmer and a Cheryl Tiegs poster.