Bill Parties in Vegas…

Bill Clinton celebrated his 63rd birthday in Las Vegas yesterday. Man, after playing superhero, the ex-President is really letting himself go.  He was last seen at the Bunny Ranch eating a Big Mac.

French Economy…

The global economic downturn has officially gotten serious in France. Reuters is reporting that sales of French sex toys are plummeting as consumers reduce their spending on kinky products.  Secretary of State Clinton said that her husband has been immediately dispatched to monitor the situation.

Hillary Conceding…Putin’s Iron Fist…Planet Green

Hillary Clinton will reportedly concede the Democratic nomination to Barack Obama tonight. As her campaign comes to an end, some pundits are blaming the frequent, tasteless outbursts by her husband, Bill Clinton, while on the campaign trail as costing her the election. Oh boy… I know who’s sleeping on the couch tonight!

Russian President Vladimir Putin has banned political humor on TV, stregthening his control over the country’s media networks. The strong-arm move has completely ruined Yakov Smirnoff’s comeback plans.

The Discovery network today will launch the first ever “ecotainment” channel. The channel will have 24/7 programming featuring “celebrity chef Emeril Lagasse, rocker Tommy Lee and rapper Ludacris”, according to the channel’s press release. It seems the networks first eco-friendly act is to recycle washed-up celebrities.