Tiger Practices

Tiger Woods began practicing at Augusta National before his big return to The Masters in April. Everything was going smoothly until his caddy caught him texting someone else for tips and then he backed is cart into a ball washer.

Supersized Last Supper

Historians studying the depictions of ‘The Last Supper’ from DaVinci’s famous painting through the last century found that artists through the years steadily increased the size of the food on the plates. In other news, Judas has signed up for the new season of ‘The Biggest Loser’.

Gamers Rejoice

A new web site called ‘Gamecrush’ allows gamers to pay to play games such as ‘Halo’ against hot women online. In other news, the average age of virgins in the U.S. just rose to 31.

Health Care

President Obama finally signed into law health care reform, the most sweeping social legislation in 40 years. After signing the bill, Obama sat back, lit up a cigarette, and said “why not?”